Amanda Kloots Says Grieving Husband Nick Cordero 'Never Ends' | PEOPLE.com

2022-05-14 01:52:27 By : Ms. Jane Yan

Amanda Kloots recognizes that grief isn't simply a phase to pass through.

On Wednesday, Kloots discussed how she's navigated day-to-day life since her late husband Nick Cordero died at age 41 in July 2020 due to COVID-19 complications. She was joined by new friend Kelly Rizzo, who also unexpectedly lost her life partner when husband Bob Saget died this past January at age 65.

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For Kloots, 40, who has been a single mom to son Elvis, 2, for almost two years now, grief is like an onion. "You know how you peel off an onion and it makes you cry? I feel like grief, why it never ends is because we continue going on through life, right? So if you think about it that's your grief, that onion."

She added, "Every time Elvis does something cute and I wish Nick was there to see it, that's like peeling off a layer and it makes you cry."

Kloots looked ahead, saying, "When Elvis gets married one day, it'll be another, like, five layers that I'll peel off."

"When you your person dies, a lot of people will say, 'Don't worry. In a year you're going to be so much better.' And you are, in a way. But it I wish somebody would say "Don't worry. Grief never ends, and it's okay,'" she said. "It will always make you cry, because that person will always hold a special place in your heart. It's not going to go anywhere. You just learn how to grow around that grief."

RELATED: Amanda Kloots Shares 'Favorite' Video of Late Nick Cordero and Son Elvis: 'I Watch It and Smile'

Even as Kloots' grief has evolved, she has felt Cordero beside her the entire time. "Still to this day I get signs from Nick," she said. "I ask him directly 'Send me a sign.' And then he does."

Most recently, the Dancing with the Stars finalist said she was having a rough day and asked Cordero for some light. "Nick, I really need to sign on what to do here. I'm gonna make it super specific: I want to see the word 'Believe,'" Kloots told Cordero.

After making the request, Kloots let it go and went to a friend's with Elvis. As she prepared to leave her friend's place, she caught site of something in the rearview mirror.

"In her yard right by the garage door is a sign — like a yard sign — and it says, 'We,' and then in all capitals the biggest word on the sign: 'BELIEVE,' and then 'that all lives matter,'" she said.

"It was a Black Lives Matter sign, but I have a Black Lives Matter sign and mine said 'Black Lives Matter,'" she said. "This was like a unique sign that I've actually never seen anywhere else, and literally the second word, in all capitals, is the word 'BELIEVE' and then everything else is tiny."

Less than two hours after asking Cordero for a sign, there it was. "I did a double take and I was like, 'Oh my God! Okay. Okay, I hear you!'"

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Cordero's presence was also felt while Kloots wrote her book Live Your Life.

"In writing this book, I've felt very invigorated and inspired," she said. "I've felt like Nick has been like right beside me cheering me on the whole time, guiding me through it. There's something that just feels very right about it."